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Were gonna party like arthritis isnt setting in and were too old for this crap. Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. If laughter was the best medicine your face would cure the world, my phone battery lasts longer than ur relationships, If I wanted to commit suicide, I would just jump from your ego to your IQ. Dismissing someone or something as gay is an insult to anyone with a homosexual orientation, because youre essentially using the word gay to mean bad or to refer to something you dont like. Watch more comedic movies and TV shows to get a better grasp on funny cultural references. Just text someone a random word and see what happens. Hijo de las Mil Putas. Fat-shaming is never appropriate even when you think youre only insulting yourself. This is an A and B conversation so C your way out of it! Best friends eat your lunch. Either way, if you like this. 6. Memorize some of the lighthearted lines from above. The only person falling for you is blind. When someone says to you ur so retarted say oh sorry i didnt hear you i thought you were describing yourself, when someone says u cant even roast me back say OMG REALLY I DIDNT KNOW I COULD BURN TRASH, when someone is saying there so cool and they were also mean say to them god stop being delusianol ur not cool u think your freinds are saying things like omg he is such a legend u really think they are trust worthy, I called a pest exterminator, to exterminate you cause u look like trash. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. Well yeah, it is your fault. Pick one of these 61 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. What do boyfriends and mascara have in common? This question can surely make her smile after getting to know that she is the reason for your happiness. I understand everything you said. Why didnt you choose the dark alleyway? Everyone around you just laughs because they think they have to." 7. words. Im lonely, not desperate. They know something is wrong, but they dont know what. Id hate to come across a universe where youre funny. Yours is a face that only a mother and a friend like me could love. Say unexpected or random comments with a humorous tone. you look like a gorilla just came out of town riding on a pony, I think i'll need an extra punch to get through all those layers, 50% of your beauty can be fixed with a garbage bag over your head, Ur the reason why god created the middles finger, I was hoping to challenge you to a battle of wits but i see u r unarmed, Roses r red violets r blue god made me pretty what happened to u, Where are u I can only see plastic in front of me. You already know words can hurt, even when someone is just teasing or when the alcohol is wreaking havoc on peoples filters. You look so good I want to plant you and grow a whole field of yall. Ooooh someone call the cops because its got to be illegal to look that good. This is another popular phrase among men looking for an easy way to deflect attention from their defects of character and try to blame the woman whose behavior is provoking him. dont be ashamed of yourself, thats your parents job! Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. There may . Group assignments make me understand why Batman works alone. "You're boring." 27. The TikTok itself is pretty basic, showing Mason and a friend sucking soda with the words, "Girls if you need toxic things to say to boys check the comments" hovering above them. Need some hilarious things to say via text or IRL? Let Me Buy You a Nice Cup of Get Over It.". Your so dumb i bet before you watched IT you thought Pennywise was an atm. If you like these savage roasts that hurt, youll also like these absolutely hilarious and best yo mama jokes. Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks. The Definitive Guide to Facial Expressions, Funny Things to Say on a Valentine's Card, Funny Things to Say When Someone Doesn't Text Back, Random Things to Say and Weird Things to Say, Key Takeaways: Make People Laugh by Saying Funny Things. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. I'm so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn't be any chocolate milk. Thank you for calling! But midget is inaccurate, insulting, and never okay. Allow me to assist you in never walking again. I dont want to rain on your parade. Its the sound of me not caring. Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. It releases oxytocin, which can trigger all sorts of bonding responses in the human body. Happy Valentines Day, cutie! Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. The world is beautiful! If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. They both run at the first sign of emotion. Instead of doing that, we could just give the other person the benefit of the doubt and kindly offer them a brief summary of the story behind the point were trying to make. Hahahaha sorry, just thinking about how I used to date you. No, no. A lot of people have no talent. "She said, 'I can't wait to meet your mom,' while we were having sex." 6. (and then wait a few hours to reply with something totally random). Im jealous of people who dont know you. Ive always thought air was free. You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters. You can also use them with success anywhere else. I only yawn when Im super intrigued. Neither does it make sense to call someone a success based on successes that dont ultimately define them. Boring texts are the bane of everyones existence. You're so ugly that god had to look away. Your the reason god created the middle finger, You're entitled to your incorrect opinion, You should really take a trip to hell, and take your parents with you, if i was you ide donate myself to a thrift store because thats where cheep crap goess, sorry my internet is slow but atleast im happy its not as slow as your brain, Was you born on a highway? Symptoms may include fever, rash, skin peeling, and low blood pressure. Even smart people can have dumb ideas, but once you dismiss someone as a fool, youre essentially saying they have nothing of value to say about anything. It says a lot and nothing good about a guy who would immediately jump to this insulting conclusion. I suggest you do a little soul searching. What did you want to be when you grew up? Im just really grateful Im not you. Please, dont stop, keep talking. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. "You're useless." 28. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. Any fan of the game will find these memes hilarious and relatable . Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. I am listening. It looks like she went into Claires Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, Ill take it! Regardless of how rigid someone might be with regard to grammar rules or political ideologies, its not okay to dismiss them as a Nazi, as though their rigidity or attention to detail made them soulless or evil. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Check out these 140 one-liners for extra funniness! I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? 14 Most Toxic Things Women Have Said To Men - BuzzFeed 17. Youre entitled to your incorrect opinion. "I'm gracing you with my presence.". Hi there, Im under 18 and my mom said not to talk to strangers. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. 2. Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you. Can you stop talking more often? Get the best comebacks and insults below: Here are the best insults to use on your worst enemies, or more importantly, your best friends: If youre going to use an insult, at least use a clever one. Dont feel bad. Here are some of the most-liked, and RUTHLESS, comments: 1 . The gap in between your teeth look like parking slots. What is the funniest "toxic" thing someone has said to you? Love you! "I'm disappointed in you." 25. And Im leaving early. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? 100 Funny Replies and Witty Comebacks to an Apology Louie Armstrong would have never released What a Wonderful World had he met you. Thanks! The right comeback will make you come across as intelligent. Hilarious Spanish Swear Words and Phrases That Will Get You Into Trouble These insults are going to convince others to stop treating you so poorly: These are the best insults to use on anyone who gets on your nerves: Use these quotes to put your enemies in their place: January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. After. You might just find one. Humor is a key likability cue that helps people feel more relaxed around you. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. Try these funny comments with your friends. For your B-day, I wanted to give you something that was funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 3. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Keep scrolling! I still have mine. Most doctors are too busy addressing emergencies to devote much attention to non-emergency mystery illnesses. 35 Roblox and funny quotes ideas - Pinterest Why arent shorts half the price of pants? It shouldnt be hard to realize this since no one wants to be told their ideas are dumb., This word had an even stronger negative connotation than dumb.. Im busy right now, can I ignore you another time? If you cant laugh at yourself, I can help you out. Yet even we introverts will sometimes refer to ourselves as antisocial when describing our behavior at social gatherings or our level of social energy at a particular moment. 7 Toxic Phrases People In Relationships Say Without Realizing It - HuffPost Dont be ashamed of who you are. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. adjectives. Every woman should marry an archeologist. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. Check your lipstick before you come for me. Naomi Smalls, If you want anything said, ask a man. I will slap you so hard even Google wont be able to find you. XOXO. Maybe you should eat make-up so youll be pretty on the inside too. Use them responsibly only when absolutely necessary. Youre a conversation starter. Continue with Recommended Cookies. I thought you only spoke trash. You do things that other people consider anal, paranoid, or ridiculous because you cannot NOT do them. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. OH MY GOD, Ive been waiting to hear from you all day. If you were a booger, Id pick you first. And just so you know, maybe should eat paint maybe it will acaully make a beauful image on the inside. You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. Valorant Memes Too Funny For Words - Game Rant And according to every test the doctor runs, theres nothing clinically wrong.. I would like some tips on how to clear my mind from someone with nothing meaningful to contribute. Youre not simply a drama queen. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. I feel so sorry for your parents. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Good luck. No, the 3rd one down. Im not a nerd. Common sense is like deodorantthe people who need it most never seem to use it. Gen Z Girls Share The Most 'Toxic' Things To Say To Boys During a Fight Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Before hearing you out, your partner says "let it go" without showing any interest in learning what happened. I do when I enter, you do when you leave. If Isaidanything to offend you it was purely intentional. If youre waiting for me to start care, I hope you brought something for eating, because its gonna be a long time. I've never heard that particular insult before. i have 5 fingers, each one resembles a person. Two strands of DNA are walking down the street. Bad idea in your case. Your secrets are always safe with me. I love that super cute thing you do when you dont reply for 10 hours. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. I have a present for you. Try these funny comments with your friends. You know, when you leave the room. In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. 19 Reasons Why Hes Not Texting You, 89 Happy Sunday Blessings To Wish Those You Care About A Beautiful Day, 21 Soul-Crushing Signs He Is Not The One For You (Even If You Love Him), Guys, Dont Ignore These 17 Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Woman, 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument, Because we see the other person as a bully or a monster, Because were hurting, and we want the other person to hurt, too.